September 14, 2006
Today I weighed in at WW. My weight is at an all time high, 236.6 pounds. I know how I got this big but I don’t really know why I let myself. When did I stop caring about how I look? Now, it isn’t even all about how I look but also about how I feel. I am an obese middle-aged woman. That is a hard nut to swallow. I have rolls around my middle, huge rolls that pour over my pants and stick out under my blouses. When I turn sideways I look like I’m 9 months pregnant. It’s getting hard to hide the heaviness, the fat. I cross my arms in front of me and I feel I look like one of those fat ladies! I am!
I don’t ever want to forget how this obesity feels for I do not ever want to come back here. I have hardly any energy, I get out of breath easily and sometimes my breathing is labored. I am afraid that I am pushing my body too far this time and it just may quit on me. God gave me a wonderful, beautiful, healthy body and look what I have done to it. I am so ashamed. How ungrateful of me. I am so fortunate to be healthy. And, I am so fortunate to be loved by Jon. I want to turn my life around for my health and for Jon. I want him to be proud of me. And so, my journey begins. It will be different this time…..
Fast Forward to December 2013
With Dr. Andrew monitoring my hormones I began to drop pounds. The more I dropped the better I felt. People started to take notice, and then the compliments came pouring in. With HCG diet, in the beginning, you are supposed to lose 20 pounds in 20 days. Well, as they will tell you I did things my way under her direction and lost about 10 pounds every 30 days. By June 2013 I had lost 50 pounds. I had given away most of my clothes, which was scary at first. What if I needed them again? Well, the more I lost I said you aren’t ever going back there!!!! Ever!
I remember the first time I was able to walk by the “women’s’” section in Macy’s and not have to shop in it. I was passing it by to go to the “normal” section and by a normal size pants! I cried and then texted the doctor how good it felt. Now shopping is a pleasure and dressing myself up is even more of one. It’s fun and feels oh SOOOO good.
“Now shopping is a pleasure and dressing myself up is even more of one. It’s fun and feels oh SOOOO good.”
Yes, I did the work but I had and still do have the support, love and passion of Dr. Andrew who has held my hand along this journey. She helped me achieve a goal I had been struggling with for twenty years. I actually had “lose 50 pounds” on this year’s bucket list and when I read back over my list a month or so ago I had to catch my breath. I had forgotten that was on there and I realized I had actually done it, finally!! Not only did I lose the 50 pounds but almost 60. I have been able to maintain for the past six months and still live a very social life. 2013 was indeed a year of change for me. The most important thing about it though is that I got my life back ….and that is the biggest Boom Kanani ever!